How should you best support them? What should you say to them? Is the rest of the family coping?

While you are prioritising the needs of your loved one, it is important to take care of yourself too. Otherwise, it’s easy to become physically and emotionally exhausted, in no fit state to support others.

• Good nutrition – Try to eat regularly. Get a proper meal when you can – sugary snacks can make you more tired in the long run.
• Good hydration – Water is your friend. If we are not well hydrated our brains don’t work as well, and decision-making is poorer. Make sure you have a bottle of water with you (and accept cups of tea when they are offered.)
• Take a break – It’s easy to underestimate how tiring it is to be constantly at the bedside. Take a walk or sit in the garden. Even a brief change of scenery can be refreshing.
• It’s good to talk – If you don’t want to burden other family members with your feelings, talk to someone who isn’t directly involved. You can be more open about how you feel.

And remember – while it can feel like you aren’t helping at all, hearing is one of the last senses to go before death. So keep talking, or play gentle music. You are making a difference just by ‘being’.