Talking to a dying friend

As much as possible, visit them in person, but if that doesn't always work, make sure you call, text or video chat. Being there for them can bring comfort, even if you don't feel like you have the right words.

Follow their cues - some days they may want to talk about deep things, and other days they might want to joke around. If they bring up their illness or the fact they're going to die soon, try not to shy away - listen with an open heart. It's hard, but really important. If they don't want to talk about it, that's okay too. 

Try to find a time to tell them you love them, that they matter to you, and that you're grateful for their friendship. It's okay to cry, but try not to make it about your grief - this moment is about them. Share happy memories and remind them of all the good times you've had together. 

You could ask "is there anything I can do for you?", "is there something you'd really like to do?" "is there someone you'd really like to see?".

Don't wait for the 'perfect' moment to say thank you or goodbye, say it when it feels right. If they're too weak to respond - that's okay, they will still hear and feel your love.

Talk about their favourite music, movies or memories. Make them laugh. If they're feeling up to it, watch a funny film or TV series you both enjoy. Just listening can sometimes be enough of a reminder of happy times. 

Sometimes they may be in pain, tired or frustrated - don't take it personally. If they talk about fear, regrets or dying, listen with compassion. If you don't know what to say, just say "I'm here for you".

After your visits, allow yourself time to process your emotions. Lean on other friends and family. It's okay to feel overwhelmed - losing a friend is incredibly painful.