This guide is here to help you understand what might happen in the final weeks, days and hours, not so you can prepare for every moment, but so you can feel a little more confident, and focus on what matters most: being there.

Everyone’s experience is unique. Some people spend several weeks in this stage, others only a few days. The order and pace of these changes can vary. Try not to worry about matching what you see to a timeline.

In the last weeks

Changes often happen gradually. Some days they may seem much like themselves, on others, they might be weaker, quieter, or more tired. This is the body’s way of conserving energy and focusing on rest.

You might notice:

• Sleeping more – they may nap often or spend most of the day in bed.

• Eating and drinking less – appetite fades slowly, and they may only want small amounts.

• Less energy and interest – they might talk less, stop usual activities, or prefer fewer visitors.

• Needing more help – with moving, washing, or remembering things.

• It’s also common to see ups and downs. Bursts of energy or clarity, followed by distance and tiredness.

You can read more about why appetite and thirst naturally fade as someone is dying in our guide here.

How you can help

• Keep routines simple - rest, comfort, and quiet time often matter most.

• Offer food and drink if they want them, but don’t push.

• Follow their lead - let them choose when to talk, rest, or see people.

• Balance visitors - too many can be tiring, even when meant kindly.

It can also help to make sure you know who to contact if their condition changes, such as their GP, community nurse, or palliative care team. And remember to care for yourself too. These weeks can be emotionally and physically draining.

In the last days

As the body continues to slow down, changes become more noticeable. These signs can show that the body is preparing for death.

You might notice:

• Eating and drinking very little, or not at all – this is natural and expected.

• Sleeping most of the time – they may drift in and out of sleep and be difficult to wake.

• Less communication – they might speak very little or not at all.

• Changes in breathing – breaths may become shallow, slower, or irregular, with longer pauses between them.

• Cooler hands and feet – as circulation slows, the skin may feel cool or look pale or mottled.

• Restlessness or confusion – they may seem unsettled or speak about things others can’t see. This is common and not usually distressing for them.

• Loss of bladder or bowel control – muscles relax and the body’s systems slow down, so they may not realise when this happens. This is a very natural part of the process. Absorbent pads or sheets, and support from the healthcare team, can help maintain their comfort and dignity.

How you can help

• Sit close, speak gently, and offer reassurance. Even if they don’t respond, it is thought that hearing is the last sense to fade, so it could be likely they can hear you.

• Keep the room calm,  soft lighting, quiet voices, and familiar sounds can help.

• Offer gentle mouth care if their lips or mouth seem dry. This could be as simple as moistening their lips with a damp sponge or applying lip balm. Ask the healthcare team to assist you with this if it feels appropriate.

• Many people find comfort in talking about shared memories, expressing gratitude, or simply saying, “I love you.”

This stage can feel unpredictable, but your quiet presence brings deep comfort. Many of the changes you see are part of the body’s natural process and don’t mean the person is in pain.

If you’d like to know how you can bring comfort or respond gently during this stage, our guide on supporting someone who is actively dying offers simple ways to help.

In the last hours

The final hours can feel both precious and overwhelming. The body is shutting down, and changes often happen more quickly.

You might notice:

• Breathing patterns changing – breaths may become very shallow, with long pauses, or follow a pattern of quick breaths and pauses.

• Unresponsiveness – they may not wake, open their eyes, or react to people speaking to them.

• Physical changes – skin may feel cool, hands and feet may appear mottled, and eyes may look glazed or half-open.

• Small movements or murmurs – these are usually automatic reflexes, not signs of pain.

When death happens

Their breathing will eventually stop. There may be a final sigh or small movement before their heart stops and their skin cools.

Even when you know this moment is coming, it can still be a shock. Take your time. Sit with them if you wish, there’s no need to do anything immediately.

When you feel ready, you can contact the healthcare team or follow any guidance you’ve been given about what to do next.

Looking after yourself

Supporting someone who is dying in their final weeks, days and hours can be deeply emotional. You might feel sadness, fear, relief, or even peace, all of these are completely natural.

• Accept help when it’s offered by other family members of friends.

• Take short breaks to rest and recharge. You don’t have to be there every moment.

• Reach out for support afterwards. You are not alone. Speaking to people about your experience can really help.

Above all, remember: there is no “right” way to do this. You don’t need the perfect words or actions. Your companionship and simply being there, is enough.