There are no wrong questions to ask when caring for someone who is dying. You don’t need to ask everything at once, choose the questions that feel most useful now, write down the answers and ask again if anything is unclear.

What is happening and what should I expect?

Begin by asking the doctor or nurse to explain the person’s condition and what they expect may happen next. You could ask

• What changes are you seeing, and what do they mean?

• Do you think they may be in the last days or hours of life?

• What might happen next?

• What signs might show that death is very close?

• How certain can you be, and what could change?

It’s not always possible to predict how long someone has left. Ask the care team to explain the signs they are using to guide their assessment.

For more information on what to expect when someone is dying, read our Support Hub article: What to expect in the last weeks, days and hours of someones life.

How will we keep them comfortable?

Someone who is very sleepy or unable to speak may show discomfort through their breathing, facial expression or movements. Useful questions include

• What signs of pain or distress should I look for?

• What should I do if they become restless, frightened or confused?

• What can help if their breathing changes or becomes noisy?

• Is it still safe to offer food or drink?

• How can I help with mouth care, positioning or personal care?

• What can I safely do myself, and what should I ask for help with?

Tell the care team if the person seems uncomfortable or something changes suddenly. You are not expected to work out what is causing a symptom or manage it alone.

What do I need to know about medicines?

Medicines may be reviewed as the person’s needs change. Ask

• What is each medicine for?

• Which regular medicines should continue, and have any been stopped?

• What happens if they can no longer swallow?

• Are there ‘just in case’ medicines, and who is allowed to give them?

• Might a syringe driver be helpful, and what would it do?

Don’t stop, start or change medicines unless a healthcare professional has told you to do so. Ask for written instructions if they are difficult to remember.

For more information on medications, read our Support Hub article: What are ‘just in case’ medications?