Being very sleepy is different from being unconscious. Someone who is sleepy may still wake or respond for short moments, while someone who is unconscious does not appear to wake or respond. In either case, they may still have some awareness of familiar voices or sounds.

We cannot know exactly what each person hears or understands as they are dying. However, research has found that some unresponsive dying people’s brains still respond to sound. For this reason, it is often helpful to speak gently as though they may still hear your voice.

A familiar voice, favourite music, or simply the sound of someone calm nearby may bring comfort.

Is hearing the last sense to go?

Hearing is often described as one of the last senses to fade, but everyone is different. Someone who can’t answer you may still have some awareness of voices or sounds around them.

You might notice a small movement, a change in breathing or facial expression, or that they seem calmer when a familiar person speaks. These changes do not prove what they can hear, and you may see no response at all. They may simply be too weak to show one.

Should I talk to someone who is unconscious or dying?

If it feels right, yes. You don’t need to talk constantly or find perfect words. Speaking naturally can make the room feel familiar and calm.

You might say

• "I’m here."

• "You’re not alone."

• "I love you."

• "I’m going to sit with you for a while."

• "You can rest."

Tell them when you arrive, who is in the room and when you are leaving. You can talk about your day, share a memory or simply sit quietly beside them. Silence can be comforting too.

What sounds might be comforting?

Think about what the person enjoyed before they became unwell. You could play familiar music, read a favourite poem or book, or talk about people and places they love.

If they usually found touch comforting, you might hold their hand. Tell them before you touch or move them, and stop if they seem unsettled.

Be mindful of conversations around them

Because the person may still hear something, try to speak around them as you would want people to speak around you. Where possible, move upsetting or practical discussions away from the bedside. This might include family disagreements, funeral arrangements or worries about what will happen next.

Busy hospitals and care homes do not always make this easy. You don’t have to get everything right; the aim is simply to keep the space around them as calm and reassuring as possible.

What if they seem distressed?

Ask a nurse, doctor or another healthcare professional for help if the person seems frightened, restless, in pain or uncomfortable. Signs might include grimacing, repeated movements, pulling at bedding or medical equipment, or breathing that looks difficult.

The care team can check whether they need symptom relief, mouth care, a change of position, medication or a calmer environment. You are not expected to manage this alone.

Your presence matters

It can be hard to sit with someone who can no longer speak to you. You may never know exactly what they heard or understood, but speaking gently, playing familiar music or simply letting them know they’re not alone can be a meaningful part of caring for them.

You don’t need perfect words. Your presence, your voice and your care are enough.