Dying Matters

Here’s what John had to say…

• Start the conversation today, do it NOW, there will never be a better time.
• It doesn’t matter how long you have been ‘an item’ with your loved one, or how young or old you are, don’t leave having this conversation about death and dying until another day. No-one knows when we are going to die. Tomorrow may be too late. Go on, be brave, you will have a huge sense of relief having broached the subject.
• Don’t make a mountain out of the conversation, you may be surprised that the ‘other half’ is quite pleased that you’ve started to talk about this subject.
• Children of any age are very resilient and amazingly understanding, just chat with them at any time, in a natural and tender way, they will understand as you talk to them about death and dying. Ask them what they think and feel about this topic.
• Please remember that talking about these matters does not make death happen any sooner or indeed any later than it would have done.
• If the other person really doesn’t want to talk about it, please don’t give up, you can suggest to them that it would be a great help and weight off your mind, if you both, at least started to chat about it briefly. You could then maybe review this in a few days. You will be surprised that when you next talk about it, how much easier the conversation is.
• Speak warmly, gently and with loving kindness. Please don’t worry if there are tears, you are there together to comfort each other.
• Having spoken openly about death and dying with our relations and friends in advance of our wishes, it makes the whole process that much easier to cope with when death actually happens – which it surely will.

John is one member of our Helpline team who are here for you every weekday, including Bank Holidays. People call for a variety of reasons. You may wish to talk about your own feelings and concerns about someone who is dying, or you may have received a devastating terminal diagnosis.

The Anne Robson Trust Helpline

We’re here to listen, to let you talk and offload, and help you explore ways to adapt and cope with your situation. We can also signpost you to other organisations that might be able to provide other types of support you may find helpful.

• If you or someone close to you is dying, please call us on 0808 801 0688.
• Calls are free and confidential.
• Lines are open on weekdays between 11am to 5pm.
• You can also email us out of hours on helpline@annerobsontrust.org.uk

Contact us now we’re here to listen.